cycling the pamir highway
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Day 1. The first afternoon on the Pamir Highway was quite a bit less shitty than expected (pun intended). After a painful morning of food poisoning, I had very little left in me, and only had to dismount from my bike to poop in the bushes 3 or 4 times [disclaimer: if you’re uncomfortable reading about how the human body functions, you probably should have stopped reading this blog a long time ago, and I strongly encourage you to contemplate why something you have done literally tens of thousands of times makes you queasy. Everybody poops.] Though uphill for the next 170 km, the road was not steep, and we were able to push the pedals in a middle gear along the slowly degrading asphalt while the surrounding flora evolved from a tree-lined river to short bushes to dry dirt.

 

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Day 2. The second day went by without too much excitement – apart from Radir and Detti joining me on the diarrhea train, and visiting the nearby fields in rotation to relieve ourselves. When in Tajikistan, do as the yaks do.

 

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Day 3. On the third day, we made it to Jelondy, a small spa village at the end of civilization. I had taken on a project to write guides to each of the towns along the Pamir Highway for Caravanistan, so naturally we had to check out the hot springs for research purposes. There are several small bath huts filled with hot water pumped up from underground, and though the one we went to was way too hot to actually relax in, it was well worth the 50 cent entry fee.

 

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Hungry, we went to the sanatorium—the old Soviet spa resort which many babushkas believe can cure all illnesses—where we were told is the only restaurant in town. The cook gave us one grumpy glance and walked away saying “we’re out of food”, which was probably for the best, as scraps of expired sheep fat lay discarded around the dirty kitchen. Having just had my first solid-ish poop, I wasn’t willing to probe any further. So, we resorted to the “market”, which was the last one we would see for a couple days. I use the term “market” loosely here, because they only sold ramen, buckwheat, tomato paste, rotting onions, expired soda, and candy. Life is really, really tough in this part of the world.

As we pedaled out of the village, we noticed that we were no longer following power lines. Or, at least, the ones that were there were in such a state of disarray that they surely hadn’t worked in ages. Apart from a few small gas generators, we wouldn’t see any electricity for the next 8 days. And we were cycling on an international highway.

 

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Day 4. That night we camped in a small grassy field by a stream just before the gently sloping asphalt road turned into a very steep and very rough gravel road up to our highest point so far, Koitezek Pass, 4270 meters (14,009 feet) above sea level. Sitting on a couch and breathing is not easy at that elevation and neither is riding a bike loaded with food, water, camping gear, and 6 months of all personal belongings up a road that many cars die on. Radir, the professional among us, somehow managed to maintain calm conversation while I struggled to finish a single word before gasping for another breath of the most unsatisfyingly empty air, and Detti decided that pushing the pedals simply wasn’t worth it at all and had resorted to walking her bike up the steepest switchbacks.

 

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One lone house stood just after the pass. In the Pamirs, people have very little opportunity to make money, and most households rely on a family member to find work in Russia and send money back home. This often amounts to only $50 per month, though, meaning that most families have to survive off the land as much as possible. This is essentially restricted to fishing in rivers and milking goats and yaks to make cheese and yogurt, as fruits and vegetables cannot grow in such a harsh climate. Because of the incredibly tough financial situation, every house turns into a guesthouse and restaurant, serving their homemade cheese, yogurt, bread, and tea to travelers like us. There is no menu or prices in these houses; you just show up, accept whatever is put in front of you, and pay whatever you think is fair. In this house we were served tea, stale bread, homemade kefir, and candies – the everyday lunch of locals.

 

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A disappointingly rocky descent lay ahead of us so instead of comfortably rolling downhill, we squeezed the brakes until they started to melt. A second – much smaller – pass remained between us and the next village, and this time we were blessed with a tail wind! The wind abruptly switched as we crossed the highest point, meaning that, yet again, we couldn’t fully enjoy the descent. By the time we reached Alichur, the headwind had gotten so strong that I was pedaling full speed to roll downhill into the village. Dead, we lethargically ate some fried fish, had a bucket shower, downed a few beers and some vodka with a friendly Dutch couple, and passed out by 9:30pm.

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Day 5. As we slowly warmed up our legs on the road, we noticed 4 familiar bicycles parked at a little house surrounded by nothing. All cyclists in the Pamirs end up meeting each other at some point, and we had encountered these French and British couples several times already. The house was labelled on the map as “good fish here”. Sounds worth checking out. Sure enough, the fish from the nearby spring was delicious.

 

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Apart from an annoying headwind, this section was not difficult to ride, and riding in a pack of 7 cyclists made it a lot of fun. The “rivers” on the map which we expected to get water from were all dried up, so we resorted to asking a truck driver for about 20L of water before setting up a big group campsite. It seemed the headwind had brought in warm air, so even above 4000 meters the nighttime temperature was comfortable.

 

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Day 6. 
The sixth day comprised of one small pass at only 4137 meters, and then a long downhill with, of course, a headwind. Things like this don’t matter much when you’re cycling with good people and you’re not stressed for time, though, so we still rolled into Murghab—the Pamir’s capital city with a booming population of 4,000—with smiles on our faces.

 

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Murghab’s Pamir Hotel is somewhat legendary among cyclists and we encountered no less than 21 bicycles parked in front, many of whom we had already crossed paths with along the way. We opted for the cheapest option—sleeping in a yurt in the hotel’s front yard—and enjoyed the afternoon eating yak milk ice cream at the bazaar. At 50 cents a cone, it is a pricey luxury for this area, but the lack of electricity means that ice cream can only be made using a gas generator.

 

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Well acclimatized to the elevation and energized by ice cream, the Pamir highway’s highest pass lay ahead.

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